to each her own!

By far my biggest challenge with menopause has been my short temper, my inability to stay cool in almost ANY situation.  And while it's not fun for me I think it might be worse for those around me.  They never know when it's going to hit, what is going to set me off.  And when I feel the anger start, it almost feels better to feed it than to control it.  Sad but true.

After doing a hormone test, both my doctor and I were quite surprised to find that everything was well within normal ranges, except my progesterone levels were a "tad" low.  And by a tad I mean that if normal is 80 (as an example), my level was a 78 or 79.  Somewhere I have those test results so please understand that I have no idea if 80 is even a realistic representation, so I am just going with it.

I tried progesterone cream, pretty low levels, and like the last time I took estrogen, it sent me far over the edge.  Much farther than I would ever want to go.  Unlike last time when it took me about three days to realize there was a problem, this time it took me over a month to realize I was in deep, deep trouble.  And I went in with my eyes wide open, knowing the signs I was looking for from my bout with progesterone four years ago, and I still missed them.  And that slow onset of what I call psychotic paranoia is a terrible thing to experience.  When I finally realized what was going on I stopped the cream quickly.  After about a week I started to feel a bit more normal.

But with  normal came the symptoms I was trying to "cure".  This time I turned to Amberen. I talked to my naturopath about it, and she said it couldn't hurt to try, there didn't seem to be anything harmful in this, and neither of us really found any stories of problems.  So with a little hope and bit of trepidation I started the combination of a little white and a little orange pill every morning after breakfast.

Within less than a week I felt better.  By the end of the first month I would barely loose my temper at something that might really deserve it, and I was laughing. A lot more!  It felt great.  I took Amberen for a straight 90 days, and when I ran out I decided to see what would happen if I stop taking it.  It took about a month for me to really feel desperate, but I am back on it and happy to be feeling so great again!  I believe that each woman must find her own best fit, and I am sure this will be a great solution for so many.  I am so happy that it's working for me.

And who knows, I may still try some of the other solutions out there, and I will tell you when I do, but for now I am feeling better than I have in years.

good grief, it's been two years!

When I started this blog I felt I needed an outlet for my menopausal musings, a place to record my hormonal findings, and basically, just a place to say my piece.  I like to tell my story.  But life got in the way, as it often does, and here we are two more years into my fabulous menopause, and I have lived through so many changes.  I just haven't documented them.  I feel every woman can tell a story that will help another woman somewhere in the world.  And believe me, the highs and lows have been quite a challenge, but I have found a fabulous balance, and I will share that in the next post.

On a side note, my uncle died today.  He was 68 years old.  He would have been 69 this December.  Another of my uncles (I am fortunate enough to have three!) called to give me the news.  Then I called my mom, and my heart broke for her.  This giant of a man, who survived multiple strokes 7 years ago, and has had some struggles since, who gave us all so much, who was always a shining light in my life, is gone.  And I miss him terribly.  

Good-bye Lee, I will be looking for your rainbow!

curls!

Hair. Growing up I had stick-straight, super thin hair.  I remember using my mom's hot rollers to curl it one time.  Within an hour it was stick-straight again.  So I did what I could with curling irons and blow dryers and, for the most part, enjoyed my hair.  My hair dressers have all fawned over it.  As I grew older it got thicker, but was always straight.  Then about five years ago I started to develop single waves.  There would be random waves in one little spot on my head.

After my hysterectomy I noticed that one little spot turned into a few little spots.  Since I always blow dry my hair I don't often know what my hair would do if left to it's own devices.  Tonight after a little color update I got out of the shower, towel dried my hair and decided to let it dry on it's own.  What you see above it the current state of my hair, as of 10 minutes ago (I love technology!).  And I have to say, not a big fan of these curls. 

I have had friends with curls.  Gorgeous, silky, bouncy curls.  Mine are not that variety.  Mine are random, uneven, and not user friendly.  So I will continue with my usual routine, and quietly forget that I have these funny little curls.  Until the next time!

Gotta love those hormones!