a hormone moment...

My debit card expires at the end of this month. A normal occurrence in most of our lives. I received my replacement card in the mail last week. It's not an account I use often and I was in no hurry to open the mail.

I was paying bills, sorting mail, and all that good stuff, and I decided I would activate my new card. My choices were to call a toll free number or activate online. I chose to call. When I dialed the number I heard a message telling me to "please check the number and dial again." So I did. I checked the number and sure enough, it was the same one on the sticker. So I dialed again and this time, miraculously got through to the computer that would help me activate my card. I followed the prompts, entered the card number and the pound sign, entered the magic code on the back of the card, entered by telephone access code. And I was told that one of these pieces of information was incorrect. So I did the whole thing over again, only to be told, again, that this information was incorrect.

I knew I was inputting the correct information so I decided to go online and try that. I put in all the required information. Online it asked for further clarification of who I was. I dutifully gave the computer everything it asked for and was told I was wrong. Twice.

I have had this account for almost fifteen years. My birthday has not changed. The last four digits of my social have not changed, nor has my account number changed. But apparently the way my brain processed information has changed. I am befuddled. I felt so alone in that moment and I knew my information was correct but I didn't know what to do. So I sat there and allowed myself to cry for exactly one minute.

I enjoyed the crying and the tears. And then I called the bank. My card has been activated and I still have no idea which bit of information the phone and computer were not able to process. But I do know that my brain is working on two different levels. The one that thinks and the one that speaks, types and does all those outward things. Inside I am having a conversation about one thing but outside the conversation is competely different. Interesting! And I hope temporary!